The BIG Shock!.......

So lets finish up my 2013 experience? We have finally reached the last parts. 

So up until now, I gave background information about myself. 

After I received the Spirit of God in me, oh my joy, my life and heart beat, everything was for God. I had no fear of anything, because I knew that God had my back. I hated the devil and everything He stood for and did because I knew the truth!

BUT......................

Last year I went through a really horrible time in my spiritual life. I allowed examples I had seen of some people falling or making mistakes and falling into the trap of the devil to place a ridiculous fear in me.

I became really afraid of the same thing happening to me and of course the devil used this to his advantage. I started finding it so hard to believe in myself and believe that I can make it as I began comparing myself to so many others.

I didn't stop to think about the fact that I was doing nothing wrong and truly desired God and fought each day to obey Him. But rather I just kept thinking ' but these people were in faith before and they fell, they left the church, they lost their faith'.

I had never seen something like that since I started the church so to me it really was a big shock. Anyway the whole of the year I really struggled in my Spiritual life and each campaign I did was for myself. I opened up to people who could help me, but it was as though I was just stuck in the repetitive thoughts.

Every purpose of faith that the Holy Spirit inspired in the church, I jumped in full force for myself. I gave God all of my heart, my mind, my soul, body, my dependence, everything!

Will continue tomorrow!

P.S. You know how I know that I am changing? I becoming less and less afraid of being open about the issues I go through, because I know we are all human beings and are fragile and weak. Our strength alone comes from our investment in our relationship with God.