So sorry I was unable to post yesterday. Anyway, let is carry on, so we can move on to what i learnt this year.
This was going on without anyone knowing and as i said, i really hated it. I remember during those times, i also used to have dreams of how i would kill the son of the family friend who removed the innocence of my mind. I had a big grudge against him and i just couldn't seem to forgive him and i couldn't forget.
I developed this habit of keeping myself to myself as i believed that no one really cared about me. Even if people would seem like they wanted to befriend me, in my mind it was just a show of pity for an ugly and lonely girl.
I did not bother with my appearance at all, literally even to the point i would go to sleep with my hair one way, wake up and leave the house with it untouched. I hated myself and my life so much.
I remember, many times i would sit in the classroom during lunch breaks and watch everyone else outside having fun and seeming so happy and I could never believe that I would ever be happy. I would always wonder how they could be so happy. Inside of me, i had so many issues.
But even though all of this was going on I was doing EXCELLENT in my academics! After all, I had no friends, no other activities going on so i threw myself in my books.
Tomorrow i will speak about the day i decided try something different to call everyone's attention.
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