The emptiness.....

So sorry, work has been hectic lately so i haven't been able to post as frequently. Let's carry on anyway.

There was a party coming up of a girl that i spoke to and she invited me to come along. I decided this would be the time for me to break out of the place i had found myself in. I wanted to be noticed, to stop being laughed at, I wanted to be like the other girls.

I got this short dress at home, and i decided i was going to wear that dress. When i left home, my parents saw me with the dress and jeans underneath, but the moment i got to the party, the jeans came off. I felt nervous and weird at first because remember i said i only wore baggy clothes at that time.

Anyway the party got underway and i stayed to the walls as i was very shy to get involved, but as soon as the light came off it was like all of a sudden this confidence came out in me. I went to the dance floor and started dancing like i never had before. Before i knew it someone came up behind me to dance with me. A moment later, a crowd had formed around us and everyone was shouting my name and praising me.

In that moment, i felt really good, i felt like I was on top of the world. When i got home that evening though, i felt so empty. I don't even know how to describe it, i just felt so empty inside. The happiness i had felt a couple of hours before completely left. I had felt empty before but that day i really felt it.

This was around the moment, i met two wonderful people! More on Monday!