Surrender............

Hey guys! I really do hope you are all doing great!

During this time that i have not been writing, i have been through an amazing experience which i would like to share with you.

Through this experience, i have cried, laughed, been very afraid, felt extremely stupid and ashamed, wanted to hide etc......but ultimately i have come to understand the real meaning of surrender.

Last year, lets say around the middle of last year, i started thinking more about the fact that we don't live on earth for a very long time, our life really is but a vapour. And as we can see as of late, people are dying every minute. This placed this undying desire and conviction not to waste time. It became the greatest topic in my conversations with God, i started understanding why i cannot waste time doing what pleases me, but rather what pleases Him.

I was created with a purpose, i was created for His pleasure, for His glory. My goal was to find out this purpose and fulfil it. Can i be honest? Deep down, i already knew what is was. Around me were many words being spoken, confusion entered my mind and this was no longer clear.

Doubts, fears, excuses entered and i justified them with really convincing statements. All the while our Father was ever so patient with me. I said no to Him and unsettledness entered my heart. December, i don't even know what happened, but He changed something in me.

The word 'surrender' became my constant companion. It was literally always on my mind......this lead me to think and think about what it means, search its meaning from the Bible, ask God to open my mind to understand.

Did you know Jesus sweated blood? He reached the highest level of Fear anyone could ever reach. Have i ever sweated blood? Never. Yet even with this unthinkable level of fear, He obeyed the Father, with not one word of complaint.

No more fighting with our Saviour, i have learnt.....Let Go, don't trust in your own abilities, Let God.

Guess where fulfiment and satisfaction lies?

"Let us hear the end of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments; for this is the whole of man." Ecclesiastes 12:13